US AND THEM

You could argue that any rational person will decide that conspiracy theories are bunkum. Whilst the US government and other organisations have indulged repeatedly in conspiracies – Bay of Pigs and Watergate come to mind – it is unrealistic to think that a large organisation could get away with even credible ones, never mind the alien and satanic conspiracies. Basically, big organisations leak like a sieve. So why do we believe so much in conspiracies?

US CONSTITUTION

Maybe because SOME conspiracies are more real than we realise. Take, for instance, the US Constitution.
In the mid-1800s, the ultra-individualist Lysander Spooner argued that the American Constitution was dead, and deservedly so. His argument was simple. A document that guaranteed freedom and happiness could not hold people together under a federal government.
Spooner was not believed. But in the mid-20th century, a whole group of conspiriologists began to argue this was, indeed, the case. Their argument rested on the belief that, on 9 March 1933, President Franklin Roosevelt’s declaration of national emergency was never nullified. Just the slightest whiff of a ‘clear and present danger’ allows the US President to automatically suspend rights to anyone he wishes.
Further, bit by bit, dictatorial powers have been passed to the President, to the point that he can now do anything he pleases. He can seize property, send troops to battle, restrict travel and tap all forms of communication without any other authority, allowing presidents to strut the world stage like Roman emperors.

OM

With such a reality – a reality becoming starkly clear following US government powers following 9/11 – it is easy to feel that the US Constitution isn’t worth the paper it is written on.
This feeling of conspiratorial powers is given equal credence by one of the most seemingly ridiculous conspiracy theories ever put forward – that of ‘OM’.
Based around the persistent belief in the East that the universe was created out of Chaos by the sound of ‘Om’, the word has become the most popular mantra. But it has crept into western conspiriology as OM, an acronym for Operation Mindf***.’
The most virulent of supernatural conspiracies, whenever something weird happens, it is OM behind it. Eventually, we began to understand the process with Surrealism and Postmodernism, intellectual pursuits that make the world chaotic and ridiculous. In the modern world, it is often impossible to distinguish what is OM and what is not, so absurd has much of the world become.
The conspiracy of OM undoubtedly came out of Discordianism, thought by some to be the first true religion, based on the worship of the goddess of Chaos. It offers true reality of religion as a joke.
The founder of Forteana, Charles Fort, that irrepressible collector of weird tales and happenings, put the strangeness of the world down to a being known as the Cosmic Joker, and such events generally require a degree of passivity, due to our non-understanding.
This passivity is the purpose of the force to mess with our minds. Indeed, Dlscordians cope with this stupidity with mantras such as: ‘We Discordians must stick apart.’
This is the beauty of postmodernism, an idea and way of life with no purpose, no meaning, no identity. And within this swirl of negativity and seemingly over-powering forces, we all become conspiriologists of sorts.
And even more important to the conspiriologist’s trade is the simple fact that, in less media invasive days, conspiracies DID occur. Consider, for instance, the conspiratorial history of Britain.

DEMOCRACY

Modern, democratic government can find its roots way back in early Anglo-Saxon Britain. In order to rule, a king had to have a council usually made up of local leaders and bishops to discuss issues and assist him in ruling.
As the centuries rolled on, this became known as the Witan, meaning ‘moot’, or meeting. Dealing with such things as land grants, defence and taxation policy, the Witan soon discovered that it could prize authority from a king by refusing to collect taxes. This form of justifiable blackmail is conspiracy.
One king who often abused his power was King John. In order to bring him into line, a conspiracy was hatched by some barons. This conspiracy led to the signing of the Magna Carta on 15 June 1215, guaranteeing a council of 25 barons to watch the monarch, and guaranteeing human rights that form the basis of a free society. Lauded as a great moment in history, the Magna Carta was nonetheless the product of conspiracy.

THE TUDORS

By the time of Henry VIII, Europe had settled down to centuries long turmoil where the power of Catholic Rome was under threat as Protestantism allowed the first stirring of national government.
Under the excuse of divorcing his first wife, Henry severed links with Rome, creating the Church of England, and formulating a national government in England free of Catholic interference. In other words, he was the leading player in a huge conspiracy that reversed for ever the centre of power in England.
By the reign of his daughter, Elizabeth I, the battle was to seize England back for the Catholics. With the English defeat of the Catholic Scots, their Queen, Mary, Queen of Scots, threw herself on the mercy of Elizabeth, who had her confined. However, this did not stop Mary attempting to conspire against Elizabeth through the now famous Babington Plot and others, leading to her execution.

THE STUARTS

With no Tudor heir, Mary’s son took the throne following Elizabeth for the Stuarts, with, of course, their Catholic leanings. However, James I was obviously not Catholic enough for the Gunpowder Plotters.
Led by Robert Catesby, they hatched a plot to blow up king and Parliament during the State Opening of 5 November 1605. The barrels were discovered in the cellars below the House of Lords before the gunpowder could be ignited, and today 5 November is celebrated as a famous conspiracy with bonfire, fireworks and burning the effigy of the conspirator, Guy Fawkes.
Charles I WAS more Catholic in his leanings, and constantly conspired to subvert the Protestant integrity of England. To counter this conspiracy, Oliver Cromwell and other Parliamentarians conspired against HIM, resulting in the English Civil War and eventual beheading of the king.
This immense period of conspiracy and counter-conspiracy eventually led to the Barebones Parliament at the beginning of a brief flirtation with Republicanism. Throughout this Parliament, its members conspired to erode English freedoms by imposing a dictatorial Puritan ethic upon the population. Eventually, Cromwell conspired against his own Parliament and assumed dictatorial control himself.

END GAME

By 1660 the Stuart dynasty had been restored, providing a rich source of conspiracy as Parliamentarians conspired to retain their power, and the monarch conspired to take it away.
And, yes, return the country to Catholicism.
In particular, at one stage James II had a newborn baby placed in his chamber, declaring it the rightful heir. This obvious attempt at conspiracy to guarantee a Catholic line of succession led to a number of Parliamentarians writing to the Dutch Stadholder, William of Orange (husband of James’s Protestant daughter, Mary) offering him the throne of England.
Wllllam wasn’t particularly interested in the throne, but he DID require the English army in order to guarantee victory in his latest war. And thus, through conspiracy built upon conspiracy, did the Glorious Revolution of 1688 come about, guaranteeing human rights through the Bill of Rights, and, with William and Mary on the throne, instituting the modern democratic form of government we know today.

CONSPIRACY

We can see from the above that conspiracy is endemic to democracy, and did, infact, lead to modern western freedoms. So where does this leave the conspiracy theorist? Does it give credence to his imaginings?
Sadly, not at all. Conspiracy DOES occur. All governments do, in one form or another, conspire against their electorate. But this is nothing special, and certainly nothing sensational. Indeed, we don’t even call it conspiracy any more. Rather, it is called, simply, politics.
But it is a fact of life that, being endemic to the society we class as free, we will continue to have conspiracy theorists to tell us it is far worse than this. The politicians actually like them – they divert us from looking at what is really going on.
Indeed, if conspiracy theorists didn’t exist, governments would have to invent them.

(c) Anthony North, February 2008

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