HOW TO LOVE FAMILY

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HOW TO LOVE FAMILY

Family. What are we to make of it? It’s a concept that’s been around as long as history, but today it seems to be under threat like never before. And sometimes, the criticism is deserved.
There is much abuse within families. A family can be secretive, manipulative, monstrous. Once, an extended family could help here – a criticism or protection from on the fringe. But today, it is usually the State that steps in when required.

This has given family a bad image.

After all, we hear about the failures more than the successes. And even the nature of family has changed. No longer is it a standard unit of mother, father, children. The single family, and same sex parents, are on the rise.
Families interlink with other families today. This is due to the rise in divorce, with children often having multiple parents. But why has the family seemed to suffer and change so much in modern times?

One answer is technology.

The television killed off conversation, whilst the car allowed families to spread out. With immediacy gone, the importance was bound to decline.
Media has also played its part. By highlighting problems within family, cultural consciousness edged away from the concept. This allowed the rise of political correctness, knocking the family at every stage.

This is a worrying problem.

This is so because family always had a vital function in society. It provided a sense of allegiance to something other than the State. With that allegiance gone, the State encroaches into all our personal lives.
So, above nurture, love and togetherness, the family was essential to our freedoms, no matter what we thought of it. So maybe it is time to rebirth the importance of family. And a good way to do so is to remember this:
Family was always idealized as a perfect unit. This is nonsense. There is no such thing as perfection. Mothers, fathers, children – all are flawed, because we’re human. But we haven’t, yet, learnt to forgive the concept for not being what it never could have been.
The best we can hope of any family member is that they’ll try their best. And be honest: can you claim more than this?

© Anthony North, May 2008

A PECULIAR FAMILY INDEED

They sat on the bank, the river flowed by,
Their child by their side, having said: ‘Oh, my!’
He was called Toverich, an industrious chap,
she was Gravelines, pondering an embattled mishap;
They didn’t need an abacus to work out the odds,
of a child like this, come from the gods;
A pigeon it was, born from their habits,
and a miracle indeed,
‘cos they were two rabbits

(c) Anthony North, May 2008

FEROCIOUS

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FEROCIOUS

She walked up and down the room, treading the carpet. She walked fast, angrily, ferociously.
‘And you just couldn’t resist, could you?’ She never awaited an answer. ‘God, I knew you were unhappy, I knew we had problems, but this?’
Her face was contorted, her good looks turning to something macabre, insane and – yes – so very defiant. ‘I should have guessed.’ An admonishment. ‘All the signs were there.’ A sense of regret – or was it stupidity for not realizing?

Her husband just sat there, staring into space.

‘I gave you everything,’ she continued, her pace quickening, as if there was no time to get to where she wasn’t going.
Maybe that was why, she thought, suddenly. I’m pacing up and down, trying to work it out, but maybe we were just going nowhere.
Her thoughts turned to words: ‘But that doesn’t let you off, you bas …’
Was that the crescendo, cut off in its prime? Was the ferocity of her mood declining?
The time comes. We know it does – when the anger is spent, maybe through sheer tiredness. And this is the point of reunion, of forgiveness, of being carried away on a tide of ecstasy as they make up.
She turned to face him, knelt by him. And as she stared at the knife embedded in his heart, she knew that this time it was final.

© Anthony North, May 2008

HURRICANE

The weather comes, it blows, it roars,
it batters your home without a pause;
A wind that comes ferociously,
whirling round you and me;
It’s the third, this time around,
much more frequently, they come to pound,
and always that manic thought resounds,
forever there, it does rebound,
that this is pay back for our insanity,
battering nature so we can see,
a better life materially,
but ignoring nature’s beauty,
balance,
and harmony

(c) Anthony North, May 2008

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FEROCIOUSLY SPEAKING

When someone appears ferocious we stand well back. Words such as ‘violent’, or ‘intense’, describe it. And when violence with intensity arises, it is brutal, immediate, without thought, beyond control.
There are various reasons for such ferocity. It is ingrained in a soldier that in the heat of battle, ferocity is the only way. Yes, professionalism usually controls it to a point, but we don’t speak of ‘the dogs of war’ for nothing.

Revenge is usually a motive.

When we are whipped up to the frenzy of revenge, nothing stands in our way. Yet in the modern world a new form of ferocity has come to our streets.
This is the violent delinquent, making life miserable for all. Of course, there’s always been crime, but now it seems to carry a new edge of violence. Why has such ferocity come to crime?

Well, it isn’t actually anything new.

In Britain, a similar ferocity arose alongside crime in the 18th century crimewave. Looking back, it parallels modern times in that it was a period where capitalism was advancing, and religion declining.
So it seems to be about an increase in our ability to ‘have’, coming alongside a decline in the notion that we ‘shouldn’t’. And when society tells us that we ‘cannot’, we get angry, and ferociously take.

We can also see ferocity in another way.

Nothing diminishes a person more than a lack of self-esteem. It seems to be in our very nature to feel that we are someone. And to be denied can cause anger, violence and more.
Hence, we can also see ferociousness as a lack of confidence. It is the result of our ‘smallness’, our inabilities, and our hang-ups. And as more and more face a crisis of confidence, ferocity is likely to increase.

© Anthony North, May 2008