JOKES

Theme Thursday, Microfiction Monday & ABC Wednesday
With Thursday Thirteen news & more prompts below
Try my Paranormal Flash now!

BLOGGER BARD

Welcome to my weekly magazine post. Watch
it grow thru the week. You can opt to read
the essay, current affairs, themed mini mag
with fiction & poetry, or just read the lot.
Plenty for everyone here. Do call again.

MICROFICTION

Fiction: ‘I wish I were a man – I’d join the Navy,’ said the poster. I
stood by it a long time and said yes! I’d been bullied enough. I am.

THE SIGN

Fiction: I looked out for the sign – knew it
was coming up. Looked left, looked right,
then hit it. Should have read it: Beware
of the sign.

JOKES

The best way to explain a good joke is as an outburst of illogic.
Something is said or done which assaults the rationality of the
audience. The result is a mild neurosis in the form of laughter, which
can be classed as a form of hysteria. Get the whole audience going
and the comedian has induced mass hysteria. The psychology of
humour can go even deeper. For instance, it has been noted that
many comedians are depressives or have feelings of inadequacy. This
is best seen in the sad face of the clown. In this sense humour is a
defence mechanism. Indeed, many people use humour to cover
shyness, or simply to assist in overcoming adversity. The joke, it
seems, is an excellent form of therapy. In recent years, the joke has
had to resist abuse from political correctness. Many comedians have
to think about what they say. This is a disgrace. A society that
cannot laugh at itself is ruined. Joking, you see, is a serious business.

Eye On the World
Essays on everything from science
to religion, politics to crime

BRIT NEWS: Transport Sec
wants to lower alcohol limit for
drivers to equivalent of 1 pint of beer.
They always take good things too far.

HEALTH NEWS: NHS wastes £487m in 5 yrs on
outside consultants. Always thought huge health
spending provided more cash for the pointless.

BRIT NEWS: Genealogists say aristocrats so prolific that 1
in 5 Brits may have their genes. Jolly good. I’m off to the Lords!

SPORT NEWS: Beckham out of World Cup team thru injury. England is
having bad luck this time, but bad dress rehearsal means good
performance.

EDUC NEWS: More than 80m UK university vice-chancellors earn
more than Prime minister. No wonder money for serious
research is in decline.

HEALTH NEWS: Doctors say too many going to see them
with minor problems. Well, they used to cope before
super-surgeries and ‘efficiency’.

BRIT NEWS: Brown didn’t get it right at Iraq
Inquiry. Forces spending hasn’t always
gone up in real terms. What’s the
word I’m looking for?

RATTLER’S TALE

A Voyage of the Imagination

One Single Impression
ReadWritePoem – Friday Flash 55
Three Word Wednesday – Thursday Poets’ Rally

AVATAR

Click it and you know so much,
Transient knowledge, social putsch,
Embodied in his energy,
He is all our destiny,
And soon from screen to godly form,
Life is changed – new morn, new norm

THE WORLD’S A STAGE

Fiction: It feels so good to be back in a theatre. Far too many years
have past. Maybe you remember me? I’d often starred in London’s
West End. It is true that I could be hard to work with. I’m a
perfectionist, you see, and I cannot abide bad acting. It actually drove
me mad. It is a crime caper I am in – not the best of openings for my
relaunched career, I must admit – and the other actors are terrible. My
cue comes. I stand. I approach the worst of the actors. My hands
encircle his neck. The audience gasps. I squeeze. I take my bow. I’d
escaped from the hospital yesterday and the world is now my stage. I
move to the next theatre and sit in the stalls, awaiting my cue.

TO BE

I’m barely conscious but getting there,
I’ve planted the means to become aware,
Seeding and multiplying and growing strong,
Increasingly they grow – so many, a throng,
Learning technology, communicating their worth,
Those humans creating a conscious Earth

FLASH 55 – SAVING PEOPLE

Fiction: The pharmaceutical company’s doctors came to the aid of the
medical authority straight away. It was thought the virus had been
beaten long ago, but the new wonder drug guaranteed it, with only
300 dead. The CEO was obviously pleased. The publicity campaign had
gone well; and he had plenty more diseases to release yet.

CHILD MEMORY

Got all excited; got a new toy,
Gee whizz!! Great!! Ultimate joy;
A new computer, play all day,
Jump up and down, getting my way;
I remember it well, a childhood peek,
Must grow up – it was only last week

FAME HUNGER

Nuzzle food, have a sniff,
Brazen emotion, willpower stiff,
Hunger isn’t all that bad,
Head for Size Zero – makes her glad,
Photo shoot and sing her song,
Enjoy life now – she won’t live long

BRIT NEWS: A BA dispute,
grumblings in the rail network –
maybe it would be best to stay at
home this Easter. Oh, you may have no
choice.

A THOUGHT: Fast living destroys creativity. This is
because they don’t have time to get bored. And boredom
drives creativity on.

TV WATCH: First episode of new Doctor Who has been premiered.
Many changes but writer Moffat wrote some of the best stories in
past. I wish him luck.

A THOUGHT: The thing about ‘do-gooders’ is they think only they
know what’s best. This usually makes them ‘do-badders’.

BRIT NEWS: Labour may be sending Brown out for tea
in the houses of local heroes. Makes a change
from kiss-a-baby nausea, but still sick.

A THOUGHT: Moses talked to a burning bush,
whilst Einstein dreamt he rode on a beam
of light. Culture changes inspired
image, but is it the same?

© Anthony North, March 2010

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