TOTAL THOUGHTS

I’ve been thinking lately about totalitarianism – you know, when a few take over the many and there’s nothing you can do about it. There’s a feeling nowadays that the west is heading in this direction. Is it true?
I think it’s a possibility. And my reasoning lies in what actually lies behind totalitarianism. Most of us who think about it think it’s due with a political interpretation of a particular philosophy. In one sense, this is correct. But I’m more interested, here, in the psychology of the person who takes it up.

The bully writ large.

That’s the key, I’m sure. Totalitarianism is just the schoolyard bully on a big scale. And the one thing we know about the bully is that he’s an inadequate who has to prove his self-esteem all the time.
The foot soldiers of a totalitarian state are obvious bullies and thugs. But there is another type of person who exists in the totalitarian state from the leader down to the local ‘commissars.’
These guys actually exist all the time. They are the unbending local ‘official’, or the manager who won’t give an inch. In the UK we call them ‘jobsworths’, ‘cos deviating from the rules is ‘more than my job’s worth.’

Little men rule.

That’s the other key. These petty officials also need to exercise their self-esteem; and I’m convinced it’s these guys who see an outlet for their self-esteem when a totalitarian system comes along.
And when I look at the intellectually stagnant governing class of the west today, I see nothing but little men. And there lies a possible answer to declining freedoms in the west, and the slow and subtle rise of totalitarianism.
Totalitarianism is, you see, licence for the inadequate.

© Anthony North, August 2007

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MODERN LOVE

There is a problem with love in the modern world. There is a problem because it is not understood. Love is about being there; about comfort, about feeling right in someone else’s company; about companionship.
But to too many people today, love is about fun and sex and that mythical thing called passion. But passion is for films, or novels. In the real world, passion is a burst of hormones, fuelled by infatuation, and a need to connect.

INFATUATION

This isn’t love. This is excitement – a rush of emotion that breaks down barriers and allows people to know each other intimately. It is when this has worn off that love blossoms.
Today, this is not understood. So when infatuation goes, and passion wanes, they think love has gone also. So move on to the next infatuation, forever in search of real love, without waiting for it to emerge.
It is an inevitability of a society always in a rush. We demand instant gratification, and are not prepared to wait. So we remain unhappy in life except for intense bursts of hormonal disturbance, leaving us drained and wondering if we’ll ever fall in love.

EROTICISM AND POWER

One obvious result of this misunderstanding of love is the rise of sadomasochism, or S & M. And the interesting thing is that its rise tends to be fuelled by women. Maybe men are less emotional when it comes to love, taking it more in their stride.
And as such, they don’t feel as frustrated when love doesn’t come – or they THINK it hasn’t come. So in S & M we could well be seeing a definite effect of the lack of love experienced by women. Which is disturbing in the extreme.
It is disturbing because S & M is about violence. Some may disagree with this, arguing S & M is about eroticism. But this is a fallacy. Eroticism is about power, but power to control by subtlety and tenderness, using your influence over another to please them, to make sex good for them.

IT ALL TAKES TIME

Such an ability takes time, skill and a need to be tender to the object of your love making. And flirting with hurting the partner is the exact opposite of the erotic thrill. Hence, in the rise of S & M we are seeing violence born out of frustration, rather than the eroticism the practitioner claims.
I guess we’re back to that fast world, with no time to do things properly any more. We don’t wait for love, leaving us serial monogamists. And in sex, we are increasingly not waiting for eroticism, but satisfying ourselves with a cheap and violent substitute we mistake for the erotic.
Perhaps it is time we slowed down, and rediscovered that love and eroticism takes time. And who knows. If we do rediscover real love and eroticism, we wouldn’t feel the need to rush about in the first place. We’d be happy where we are, wrapped in loving, companionable arms.

© Anthony North, August 2007

Have you clicked Diary of a Writer on Blogroll? Meet me, up close and personal.
Click Tony On, on Blogroll, for my current affairs blog.
If you like fiction, click Fiction Page on Blogroll for my short stories.
Check out the pages